DURHAM, N.C. — Balancing the weight of expectations with personal dreams is a challenge many college students face, particularly those in the Asian American community, where achievement is often equated with financial security.
This May, during Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, a group of recent Duke University graduates are redefining success on their own terms.
“I really liked science in high school, so I decided that I was going to try and become a doctor,” said Allison Chen, who initially enrolled at Duke as a pre-med student. “I thought that’s what good kids do in college.”
But from the beginning she found herself feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. Chen persevered for two years, partly because she didn’t want to disappoint her parents. Needing a reset, she took a gap semester and enrolled at a pastry school in a rural French village to explore her passion for cooking.
“My parents were pretty understanding because I think they were witnessing that I wasn’t really happy in school,” Chen said. “Did they support me flying to France and going to pastry school? I don’t really know at the time, but they still let me do it, so I’m really thankful.”
She documented her journey on social media, posting daily updates to show friends and family what she was up to. Chen quickly discovered a lot of other people were watching too.
“Bored on TikTok, who do we see? Oh it’s that’s girl from freshman year that we don’t know where she went,” said Brian Young, who also recently graduated from Duke. “Now she’s on TikTok and has a couple hundred thousand followers.”
The “we” Young refers to includes himself and his roommate Herbert Wang. They bonded freshman year over their shared love of cooking and had ideas of starting a culinary group on campus.
“We thought two of us is good, but it’s going to be tough,” said Young, who was a computer science major. “So we probably need a third.”
They reached out to Chen, who they remembered from freshman year, but weren’t friends with. When she returned to school for junior year the trio formed “Stage,” which is French for unpaid internship. Drawing on their own experiences working in professional kitchens they sacrificed countless weekends organizing cooking demos and running a pop-up restaurant out of an apartment, serving an eight-course tasting menu for 16 people.
“It’s a way to create a great experience for everyone,” Chen said. “People get to have a special, more affordable culinary experience and a way for us to showcase everything we’ve learned.”
Earlier this month, they finished their final event before graduation. It was a bittersweet moment as the group they started has now grown to include upward of 11 people. Some other students plan to continue Stage and host dinners out of their apartment.
As for what lies ahead, that's still unclear. Chen’s contemplating diving full-time into the food media space. With hundreds of thousands of followers across YouTube, Instagram and TikTok, she’s already collaborated with the likes of Microsoft, Mr. Beast, Talenti and Google.
“YouTube invited a bunch of cooking creators to come into their office, and we just filmed videos, and I got to tell my parents I worked at Google,” Chen quipped. “I don’t know if they got the joke, but I still got to tell them that.”
Wang is graduating with a math and computer science degree. While his parents are sending him job postings to apply to, he’s not certain it’s the kind of work that aligns with his own aspirations.
"Coming from an Asian family, I feel like it’s always about what I can do in high school to get to a good college. What can I do in college to get to a good job," Wang said. "It’s never about why am I doing this? I’m still discovering my story."
He’s hoping to find some clarity as he prepares to embark on a food tour across Asia. He’s taking the trip after graduation with Young, who’s also figuring things out.
“A goal that I had for myself was just learn and develop as a human being,” said Young, who’s also graduating with a computer science degree. “If that’s something I can do successfully, then I’ll be happy anywhere I’m at.”
Both say they’re fortunate to have the support of their parents. As does Chen, who says a lesson she learned during college is to live life on your own terms.
“If you really pour your heart and soul and time into what you’re passionate about, everything will work out afterwards, Chen said. “It’s taken me this far, so I’m going to stick with it.”