SEMINOLE COUNTY, Fla. — Sixteen veterans a day committed suicide in 2020, according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.  It's a worrying trend, with many who served dealing with the invisible wounds of war in silence, lacking resources to help them through. 

“A lot of the traumas from Iraq made it to where I didn’t wanna wake up anymore," said Jose Belen, a U.S. Army field artillery specialist. 

These days, he crafts American flags as a way to turn his pain into a passion. Belen gives those flags to other veterans and families to provide them comfort. 

“Anytime we make an American flag, I have to remember my best friend first, Stewart Moore," he said. "And then all my brothers I lost... to the post-war struggle, veteran suicide.”

Belen deployed for 14 consecutive months in Iraq at just 21 years old. It was there, that he lost his best friend.

“When that IED hit the humvee he took the brunt of that,” Belen said.

Survivor's guilt, along with the memories of the horrors of war, have haunted him for the last 20 years.

“How do I not look at these hands as hands of death?,” Belen asked, while painting. 

It lasted even after he came home and started a family. He remembered the children he held dying while serving. 

“I’d go to the dentist and lay my daughter down... and I would see the vision of that child when I laid her down dying," he said. "Then I’d see that in my daughter. I was not talking to anybody about any of those traumas at that time."

Belen finally shared what he was dealing with, and on Memorial Day 2020, looked for an outlet for change, making his first flag in honor of his fallen friend. 

“He’d be pretty upset with me if I continued hurting myself... because of the pain and drinking and all that stuff," Belen said. "So... for the first time almost 20 years since coming home — instead of choosing the bottle, I chose the paintbrush.”

Belen says painting the flags helped him work through his feelings in a way assistance from the VA facility never could.

"I got to the point where I felt like (the VA) means pain, hurt," he said. "They tried, but it just wasn’t working."

That's when the Camaraderie Foundation stepped in to help Belen, helping him pay to see a combat stress specialist.

The non-profit aims to heal the mental wounds of war through counseling and spiritual support for all military service members, veterans and their families. Since then, his outlook on life and himself has improved.

“These hands now, when I look at them out here doing this, they are hands are creation, hands of love," Belen said.

The Camaraderie Foundation's services are available to all veterans and their families. They have over 650 counselors nationwide ready to help.

“Most of the individuals that reach out to us are in a situation that they need critical assistance," said Ruben Gonzalez, director of Case Management at the Camaraderie Foundation. "But not all cases are like that. We have situations where the individual might want to reintegrate back into the community and they have a hard time doing so."

Gonzalez says they have helped over 1,000 veterans— free of charge.

To apply for counseling services, fill out an application here.

Veterans in an immediate crisis can call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255.