DURHAM, N.C. — The unimaginable loss of a baby during and after pregnancy is a reality for many families. About 24,000 babies are stillborn each year in the U.S, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The Ronn family in Durham became a part of this statistic in January 2021 when their baby girl, Eliza, was stillborn.
“On our son's second birthday, our two babies share a birthday. She was born, just 1 pound and 8 ounces and just over a foot long. She didn’t have a heart beat when she was born,” Meghan Ronn, Eliza’s mother said.
The cardiac nurse was working around the clock while pregnant throughout the pandemic.
“I took her to work every day with me. We fought COVID together,” she said.
Already a mother to Riley, 2, Ronn described her pregnancy as normal.
“At our regular 20-week routine ultrasound, it was totally normal routine pregnancy, morning sickness, all the good stuff. We found out she had a tumor on her heart that was actually bigger than her heart itself,” Ronn said.
On January 9, 2021, baby Eliza was stillborn, four months before her May 2021 due date.
“It was hard to get out of bed most days and get on and deal with this sort of grief that I never could have experienced or never knew could exist with my life,” Ronn said.
Baby Eliza’s spirit and memory lives on throughout the Ronn house. Through bright flowers, bunnies and a children’s book in her son’s bedroom.
Ronn reads "I Carry Your Heart With Me" by E.E. Cummings to her son. She says it’s a way to honor her late daughter and for her young son to remember his baby sister.
During the darkest days of her life, she found the Finley Project. It's an organization founded in 2014 by Noelle Moore who lost her daughter, Finley, shortly after her birth.
The organization provides a network of support for grieving mothers from therapy sessions to funeral arrangements all at no cost.
“We don’t talk about loss much in our culture, especially amongst moms, miscarriages, stillbirths and babies that die young. We don’t talk about it. The Finley Project connects moms to other moms through this dark time. One thing allows us to do is speak our babies’ names,” Ronn said.
Ronn says it costs nearly $1,500 for the Finley Project to support a mother.
“If there are moms that have experienced loss, they are looking for volunteer coordinators. They pair a mom that has also experienced a loss together and we just chat about things and we know we can reach each other at any time,” Ronn said.
The Finley Project also accepts monetary donations.