CHARLOTTE, N.C. — For some, the wounds of recent years are already too big to heal.

What You Need To Know

  • Despite reconciliatory language in recent years from Pope Francis, Vatican note reaffirms opposition to LGBTQ unions

  • Roman Catholic decision says LGBTQ unions cannot be blessed

  • Vatican note inflames old wounds among current and former LGBTQ Catholics and their families

 

The Roman Catholic Church’s recent decision to not allow priests to bless LGBTQ unions threatens to make some of them deeper.

Jason Gingras is one of those hurt, disappointed, but not surprised at the Church’s recent decision.

"Pope Francis has his hands kind of tied at this point. You know, he softened the message, but there’s a lot of other forces at play that— more than anything I’m disheartened by the fact that they had to use the language that they did. Specifically, calling out sin,” Gingras says in his uptown Charlotte home.

Gingras is referencing a recent note on doctrine, which says Roman Catholic priests cannot bless LGBTQ unions.

Gingras, who’s lived in Charlotte for several years, was what many would have called the perfect Roman Catholic.

He was a member for more than 20 years, an altar server, led various parish ministries at his Florida congregation, was a member of the Knights of Columbus, and said the rosary with his family each night.

There was and is just one conflict, Gingras is also an out, gay man.

"I hated who I was, because I was this Catholic believer. I was a devout Catholic, and for some reason I was made gay,” Gingras reflects on his time in Catholicism.

Gingras emphasizes repeatedly he has no ill will toward the Roman Catholic Church, and does not want to sound like an angry critic.

In fact, he went to amazing lengths to remain in the church. He paid for his own conversion therapy, practiced chastity, attempted to date women, and considered the priesthood.

Eventually, Gingras says he realized he could no longer lie to himself, or his church, about who he was.

“That was a big struggle for me as a child, and I got very depressed, and I contemplated suicide. And, I didn’t find any relief in the church,” Gingras says.

Twice, Gingras admits he was close to taking his own life. Because, he could not balance his faith with his sexual orientation.

"I got tired of living in the shadows. It was exhausting trying to fix my pronouns being a gay man in the church,” Gingras admits.

So, instead, he came out. Using a written speech, which he later recorded to send to friends and family, Gingras outed himself to his brothers in the Knights of Columbus.

Then, he packed up and left Florida in search of a fresh start.

Leaving his congregation, and faith, behind.

Now, Gingras has a baby son and is married to his partner, Kyle. Their son, 5-month-old Breton Elijah Houser-Gingras, was adopted and baptized in the Episcopal faith within the last months.

"He loves being sung to, so I have learned pretty much every Disney song there is,” Gingras says with a laugh.

Gingras married Kyle in an Episcopal Church in 2018, after the two met on Memorial Day 2016.

It was one of the few options for Gingras, who still considers himself a devout man of faith, to be married in a church setting.

"You know if everything is just done in love, the world would be a different place and so would our church homes," Gingras adds.

For the moment, the Roman Catholic Church is continuing its opposition to LGBTQ unions.

In a recent "explanatory note" from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, the Vatican says Roman Catholic priests and other lay persons are not allowed to bless LGBTQ unions.

The top of the note reads, “To the question proposed: Does the Church have the power to give the blessing to unions of persons of the same sex? Response: Negative.”

The relatively short note explains the rationale for the decision in several paragraphs.

“It is not licit to impart a blessing on relationships, or partnerships, even stable, that involve sexual activity outside of marriage (i.e., outside the indissoluble union of a man and a woman open in itself to the transmission of life), as is the case of the unions between persons of the same sex,” a portion of the note reads.

"The declaration of the unlawfulness of blessings of unions between persons of the same sex is not therefore, and is not intended to be, a form of unjust discrimination, but rather a reminder of the truth of the liturgical rite and of the very nature of the sacramentals, as the Church understands them,” it continues.

However, the portion Gingras and other current and former LGBTQ Catholics took particular issue with was the following, “The Church recalls that God Himself never ceases to bless each of His pilgrim children in this world, because for Him 'we are more important to God than all of the sins that we can commit.'  But he does not and cannot bless sin: he blesses sinful man, so that he may recognize that he is part of his plan of love and allow himself to be changed by him. He in fact 'takes us as we are, but never leaves us as we are.'”

The Vatican’s decision was sent with the approval of Pope Francis, according to a sentence at the end of the note.

Pope Francis is the leader of the Roman Catholic Church and in the past has used reconciliatory and welcoming language when referencing LGBTQ Catholics.

You can read the entire note here.

When reached for comment, the Roman Catholic Diocese of Charlotte did not comment on the note or offer a response.

But for some LGBTQ Catholics in Charlotte, like Gingras and his family, the note inflamed old wounds.

"If the Catholic Church was more welcoming, I believe I would have stayed. I don’t know if I’ll go back now. I think that ship has sailed for me because I’ve had so much hurt,” Gingras says while holding his son.