AUSTIN, Texas — Poll after poll shows we are living in the “Divided States of America.” The Vanderbilt Project on Unity and American Democracy found Americans are less unified today than 40 years ago.
The Polarization Index, which monitors political divides on many issues, shows the country is increasingly at war over issues issues including immigration, abortion, LGBTQ rights, policing, gun control, COVID-19 and racial justice.
But among all this fighting, here’s a story about how heated discourse turned into friendship. A conservative evangelical, and a progressive Presbyterian — polar opposites and pen pals. This unlikely bond between the two Texans all started with a sign.
“I passed by the church, and I hated their signs. Oh my God, [the] signs just irritated me," Velma Pavlasek said.
These progressive signs about reproductive rights, or how Jesus wasn’t white, at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church in Austin, compelled Pavlasek to send an email with some very strong words.
“You’re sinning and you’re going to go to hell,” Pavlasek said.
Carol Johnson was the recipient of that email. While most people might ignore these comments, Johnson decided to respond.
“I appreciated her honesty,” she said.
And then Pavlasek replied back, and so it began.
“This is wrong, this is wrong, and this is wrong!” Pavlasek said.
They argued about abortion, LGBTQ rights, and, of course, religion. Topics so rarely touched among friends, openly debated between strangers.
“We wrote long letters to me,” Johnson said.
“I’ve told her things I’ve never told anybody else,” Pavlasek said.
With every sent email, their discourse grew into discussion.
“As long as we disagree with respect and keep talking, all is well,” Johnson said.
And while they don’t always agree, they began to find common ground.
After seven months, back and forth, that’s how two foes became friends.
“She may laugh, but I call her my confessor priest,” Pavlasek said.
“She was processing, and I was just letting her process,” Johnson said.
Their relationship lives mostly online. The interview for this story was only the second time they’ve met in person.
“We’re true pen pals!” Pavlasek said.
“Yes, haha!” Johnson said.
Now the two Texans are not only friends, but allies. Pavlasek joined Johnson’s church in fighting for transgender rights. She says she is also outspoken about social justice at her own church.
Johnson says she’s branching out of her bubble, too.
“I deeply believe that if we can get underneath the issues, we want the same things,” Johnson said.
They say through their relationship they’ve learned “conservatives and liberals need each other.”
“Being able to see the God in Velma makes my life fuller,” Johnson said.
They haven’t changed churches or political parties just yet, but they say their lives are forever changed, for the better.
“I realize now, the whole point was not for me to convert them, but for God to convert me,” Pavlasek said.
Two lives forever changed with a keystroke and a click of a mouse.