KYLE, Texas — Perseverance and perspective are useful traits in both football and life. Jason Harmer knows that all too well after the loss of his mother.
“All you can really do is keep going, keep playing, keep doing what you can,” said Harmer, a junior football player at Lehman High School in Kyle. “The pain will always be there, but eventually you will heal in time and you will come to grips with it.”
Kendra Harmer was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) in May. She died in September, just before the start of her son’s season.
“Just thinking about her and what she’d be like in the stands right now when I’m playing, even though she may not be here in this world, that’s what’s amazing to me,” Harmer said.
Moving forward isn’t easy. There’s no playbook to deal with a mother’s death.
“We’re doing the best we can right now. We’re going to do everything we can to honor her,” Harmer said.
The beauty of football is that it brings people from all backgrounds together for a common goal. That philosophy was extended off the field when the entire Lehman community rallied to support the Harmers.
“My son came home after an actual game,” said Melissa Payne, president of the Austin Guardian Belles. “He told me his friend was crying on the bus and that he wanted to know if we could help them somehow.”
Jason Harmer’s outpouring of emotion was out of character, according to his father.
“He’s been very quiet and non-emotional at home,” Rich Harmer said. “Football games, it was very emotional, so I think that’s what brought it out of him.”
It was a moment with teammates that became the catalyst for a community response.
“[Jason] Harmer is my friend and I knew he was suffering a little bit, him and his brother and his family. I just thought it would be a kind thing to do to just help them,” said Lehman teammate Jason Payne.
His mom, Melissa Payne, sprang into action.
“I had people texting me, calling me, Facebooking me, wondering how they could help, when was the benefit,” Melissa Payne said. “I actually went to a couple of football games, set up there, set up donation bins.”
In less than a month, her Austin Guardian Belles organization held a benefit barbeque for the Harmers at the Kyle VFW in late October.
The response from businesses in Kyle and Buda, as well as Lehman parents and Lobos athletics, was overwhelming.
“I didn’t realize it was going to be this big. I had no idea,” said Rich Harmer, Kendra’s husband. “I didn't realize the community was going to be involved also. I thought it was just going to be a small thing, but it turned out to be pretty big.”
The fundraiser produced more than $8,700 to benefit the Harmers. Payne and her group presented a check to the family at Jalisco’s in Buda in early November.
“It probably would bring her to tears to be honest,” Jason Harmer said. “She just gave from the goodness of her heart. To know that when we’re in a situation that everybody else, they have us covered. They’re there for us. We have the Kyle family to come in and support us. It means so much.”
It was a moment where teammates and strangers came together.
“Everybody she met, they fell in love with her. Just like I did,” Rich Harmer said.
Kendra Harmer was a woman who endeared herself to the entire community.
“I know wherever she is right now, she’s watching me and she’s just so happy,” said Jason Harmer. “She’s just so proud of me… all I want to do is make her happy, the best I can.”
If you are interested in supporting the Harmer family, here is a separate GoFundMe page.