​GRAND ISLAND, N.Y. — ​How many social media platforms are you on? It seems like every year, there’s a new one to add to the list. That can take a toll on parents looking to keep their kids safe.

"Every single day, every time she uses it, I check to make sure what she's doing is appropriate," said Melissa Graeff.

For Graeff, monitoring her kids’ social media activity is just part of the job.

"Liam is 12 going on 13, Corinne is 6 going on 7, and Elise will be 5 in May," she said. "The little ones have really limited access. The older one, he's on more. He's on Snapchat, he's on TikTok, no Instagram, but definitely YouTube."

She doesn’t want her kids to have anxiety over how many likes they get or be exposed to inappropriate content, but that’s harder than it might sound.

"If my son happens to watch a family video with kids and bathing suits at the beach, guess what comes up. Bathing suits at the beach," Graeff explained. "It kind of falls into that algorithm that they have set, so you can't really monitor everything."

According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 90% of kids ages 13-17 have used social media.

For Graeff, the pandemic really pushed that issue.

"A lot of us that didn't like social media and didn't want our kids on social media kind of had to cave in," she said.

Social distancing meant things like Snapchat were back on the table. Especially in her son’s age group, there is pressure to sign up.

"It's kind of like having a phone in the 80s. If you were the only house without a telephone, you'd be literally a social pariah," said Graeff. "That's how they all communicate."

She knows all her son’s passwords and regularly checks his phone with him, but that doesn’t mean things don’t fall through the cracks sometimes.

"Kids are kids and they're gonna hide things that you don't want them to see," she said. "You find things out later that they shouldn't have been doing and then there are consequences."

It’s not just the short-term impact.

"Is my hair right? Am I wearing the right clothes? I mean, when I grew up, that was a concern, but you didn't have people coming at you from five different angles saying, 'your hair is wrong, you're awful, you're ugly.' And that's what's happening."

There are some things that are beyond her control.

"I can't police it forever. There's no way to do that," Graeff said.

She does have hope for the future. Recently, Facebook had its first-ever decline in total users. Her fingers are crossed that it’s a sign of more to come.

"Maybe we are starting to move away," she said. "Maybe we're starting to see that it is detrimental to our mental health and to our kids."

Until that day comes, all she can do is try her best.

Graeff says she also relies on other parents. If her kids do something wrong, they let her know, and vice versa. If there are bigger issues, they won’t hesitate to bring in school officials either.