BUFFALO, N.Y. — There can be a million things on a parent’s mind at once. Between their work, the kid’s school and who knows how many other activities in between, the pile gets big pretty quick.

That’s why government officials now say this poses a significant public health issue, as parents have a big impact on their kids, who then have a big impact on the communities around them.

If you’re dealing with a constantly exhausted or burnt-out parent, that has ripple effects and is not something you can really step away from, as parenting is 24/7.

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy says more needs to be done to support parents and caregivers for the good of society. 

“Let’s get these cleaned up,” Maelena Fisher said to her kids as they got ready to leave Thursday morning. “During the school year, it is pure chaos.”

With one kid in college, two sixth-graders, a fifth-grader, and a third-grader, everything is go, go, go.

“It's the scheduling part, you know, it's one of our big stresses,” Fisher said. “Thank goodness for Google Reminders.”

On top of schedules and school supply lists, Fisher is on multiple parental boards, executive teams and councils. 

How would she rate her stress level on a scale of 1-10?

“Probably 10,” Fisher laughed.

That’s not surprising, according to an advisory from the U.S surgeon general. It says parents work more and spend more hours on child care when compared to 1985 numbers, burning the candle at both ends.

“Families have certainly been more in isolation and trying to do it themselves, while at the same time children and adolescents have so much more societal pressures and influence,” said Samantha Quigneaux, the national director of family therapy services for Newport Healthcare. 

Data from 2023 shows most days, 48% of parents reported a completely overwhelming amount of stress. For other adults, that was 26%.

“If you're in the face of struggle or chaos or crisis, take a moment, gain your composure,” said Quigneaux. “It doesn't have to be immediate. Take that deep breath to ground yourself, and then kind of survey, ‘OK, what is within my ability to control?’”

Fisher has seen the change in stress firsthand.

“My oldest, who is now going into his senior year of college, I don't ever remember it being this stressful. In fact, it when he was little, it was almost an exciting time,” recalled Fisher. 

She leans on her “village,” other parents in her group who can help out, or at the very least, lend an ear.

“There are multiple parents that I've spoken to that deal with the same thing and we'll cry on the phone together,” Fisher said. “We'll be like, ‘we'll get through this. We'll figure it out.’”

Because in this job, there’s no quitting.

“It is stressful at times,” she said. “For me, though I feel as though that stress at least comes — hopefully I'm making an impact somewhere.” 

As for self-care, Fisher said basically all she has time for is sleep and turning off her phone when it gets to be too much.

As for the surgeon general’s advisory, it suggests establishing a national paid family and medical leave program, fostering open dialogue in communities about mental health and stress and screening for mental health conditions, among other potential solutions.