The holiday season is an exciting time, but it can also cause a lot of stress. For Kay Schlembach, hosting family for the holidays begins with a trip to her backyard. She picked fresh kale from her garden for her guests to eat.

Her labor of love for her blended family with six children and three grandkids under 3 also comes with a lot of stress.

"Dishes everywhere, and we end up with mayhem. And the kids don't nap and they're staying up too late, and then we have meltdowns and no, no thank you. I just want to make it smoother, predictable, calm, but joyous," said Schlembach.

As a clinical social worker, Beth Ehrichs said the holidays can be equal parts anxiety inducing as they are positive experiences, whether you're the host or the guest.

"Instead of expecting wondrous things, hope for good things, but expect that reality exists," said Ehrichs. "Second important thing, when reality happens, roll with it."

Setting boundaries and communicating them will make things smoother, according to Ehrichs.

"Especially when you're dealing with a wide variety of personality types and people coming from different structures in their own homes, having boundaries ahead of time," said Ehrichs. "I wish I could bottle this up and give it away for free, anxiety and stress. You can completely get rid of it by just letting go of control of thing you have no control over."

To deal with the chaos, Schlembach is keeping Ehrichs' tips in mind, and has learned the power of preparation.

"The loss of regular routines, especially during the holidays, equals insanity as far as I'm concerned," said Schlembach.

She considers her white board her best friend.

"My husband and I will be communicating with our family members about a bunch of things, especially since we know where the sensitivities are in our own family," said Schlembach.