RALEIGH, N.C. — Tracey Howard used to spend hours on this front porch with the love of his life, Nicole Connors, and their Jack Russell terrier mix, Sammy.

"All the time, me and her, you know, in the morning time, sit and drink our coffee when it was warm enough. But Sammy would be sitting right here in the sun, she'd like to sunbathe," Howard said.

What You Need To Know

  • Last week’s mass shooting in Raleigh is still top of mind for many

  • Family members are still grieving loved ones who lost their lives

  • Tracey Howard says he came home about 5 p.m. Oct. 13 to discover his wife, their dog and neighbor shot multiple times

The happiest memories are now tainted by an unfathomable act.

"I seen Miss Lynn laying on the sidewalk right out there. I didn't know it was her at first. So, I ran up to them to see what was going on and I see that she was bleeding. And I looked up on the porch, and Sammy was right there and Nicole was lay down on the porch. Both had been shot, I could tell," he said.

Howard says he came home around 5 p.m. Oct. 13 to discover his wife, their dog and neighbor Marcille "Lynn" Gardner shot multiple times outside.

The bullet holes are still visible.

Gardner is still recovering from her injuries at WakeMed hospital. But Connors and their dog didn't make it.

"She was a caring person. She's a take-charge type of person, a little firecracker, too. You know, she'll let you know what's on her mind. I'm going to miss her. You know, that's my wife, my companion, my road dog," Howard said.

Since then, Howard tells us it's been a whirlwind as he tries to process what's happened.

Fifteen-year-old Austin Thompson, accused of killing Connors and four others, remains at the hospital in critical condition.

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Howard recalls friendly interactions with Thompson.

"I couldn't believe he would do something like that, you know? Like I said, I used to see him coming and going to school. I just don't know how someone that age gets access to those kinds of weapons and that kind of ammo he had with him," he said.

Right now, forgiveness is an unimaginable ask for Howard who has just lost everything.

"Even though their family, they're victims too, so I feel sorry for them. But at the same time, I just can't forgive the act," Howard said.

Howard and Connors were married five years.

Her funeral is next Thursday.