BASTROP, Texas – For many years, Debbie Messer had feelings of anger and resentment toward the LGBTQ community. She never dreamed of attending a June Pride event. Rainbow flags once made her sad.

But there she was with a smile on her face at this year’s Dallas Pride celebration, which was held at Fair Park on June 3.

For the first time, Messer attended a Pride event, wearing a shirt with an image of a big red AIDS ribbon. In all capital letters, the shirt read: “I wear red for someone I miss every day.”

“It’s true,” said Messer with a somber smile on her face. “There’s not a day that goes by I don’t think of Randy.”

Messer, who lives in Bastrop, was one of thousands who showed up to celebrate during the two-day event held where the State Fair of Texas takes place. 

While at Dallas Pride, Messer and her husband Hank came across a small, very comfortable, floral-printed couch surrounded by lights, cameras and signs inviting people to “Sit down and share.”

“I have a story for you, Mister News Reporter,” exclaimed Messer as she sat down for a recorded conversation with yours truly.

Bastrop resident Debbie Messer shares her story of loss and love by remembering her brother Randy Foster Moore who died of AIDS in 1987. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)

Since June is National Pride Month Spectrum News 1 is celebrating by sharing stories from Texans proud to be a part of the queer community. Every week in June, myself and fellow reporter Ashley Claster introduce people sharing what Pride means to them.

We invited people at random to sit down on the “conversation couch” and tell a story, whatever they’d like to share.

Once the couch was set up, we had a line of people eager to sit down and share.

Messer was one of many took the opportunity to tell her story of love and loss, remembering her late brother Randy Foster Moore, who died of AIDS in 1987.

Bastrop resident Debbie Messer and her husband Hank attended Dallas Pride to see the event’s AIDS Memorial Quilt exhibit, which included a handmade panel honoring her brother Randy Foster Moore who died of AIDS in 1987. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)

“He wasn’t just my brother,” said Messer. “He was my best friend and a father figure.” More than a decade Messer’s senior, her brother showered her with love.

She remembers the many adventures they shared. “He was always there for me,” said Messer.

When she was 8, he took her to Disneyland for the first time.

When she turned 13, he surprised her with a birthday trip to the Magic Mountain. “We spent the day riding roller coasters together, it was a blast,” said Messer.

When she was 18, he walked her down the aisle for a wedding she later regretted.  

It’s been 36 years since Messer lost her brother, but his memory is still very much alive. Moore was a month shy of his 34th birthday when he lost a three-year battle with HIV/AIDS.

“I think it’s important that young gay people know what we went through back then,” said Messer. “AIDS was it. He was diagnosed in 1984 and it was a death sentence.”

Debbie Messer shows her brother Randy Foster Moore’s quilt panel made in 1987 to be displayed that year at the National Mall in Washington, D.C., as a part of the NAMES Project to commemorate those lost to AIDS. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)

Messer attended Dallas Pride to see the event’s AIDS Memorial Quilt exhibit, which included a handmade panel honoring her brother.

“I’m here thanks to Dallas Pride, because they brought my brother’s panel from the Names Project AIDS quilt,” shared Messer. “It was made in 1987 by some of his friends two months after he died and I’ve never seen it, so 36 years I’ve waited to see it.”

In 1987, the panel was made to be displayed in October of that year at the National Mall in Washington, D.C., as a part of the NAMES Project created in 1985 to commemorate those lost to AIDS.

Now, after more than his lifetime, Messer said she’s finally ready to celebrate her brother. She invited me to Bastrop, Texas, to remember one of the most influential people in her life. Stored in Ziploc bags, she still has every birthday card and gift he ever gave her.

She shared how she’s reminded of her brother every time she hears the 1975 song “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain & Tennille. “The song came out when I lived with him and I always think of him,” said Messer. “It instantly takes me back to the '70s with my brother.”

Messer says she sees the signs her brother was gay now, but when she was a kid he was “just Randy,” her fun-loving, eccentric older brother.

Randy Foster Moore died of AIDS one month shy of his 34th birthday in 1987. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)

She never knew he was gay until one day in 1985, when he shared he was sick with what’s now known as HIV.

“We knew it as the gay cancer,” said Messer. “I remember the day he told us like it was yesterday. I just lost it. I was 18 years old and devastated. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. For many years, I couldn’t stand the gay community,” she said, regretfully. “I unfairly blamed gay people for my brother’s death and I was very angry for many years.”

According to the CDC, from 1981 when AIDS was first recognized through 1990, more than 100,000 people in the United States died. The majority were gay men.

“Our government let him and all his friends die because they were gay,” said Messer. “That’s what it comes down to, ‘Oh, it’s a gay disease!’”

After his death, Messer memorialized her brother by giving her firstborn daughter his name. When she was pregnant, he attended an ultrasound appointment and got the chance to know the baby’s gender before he died.

“He passed Aug. 5, 1987, and she was born Sept. 5, 1987,” said Messer. “She was named Randy with a Y. She’s the only reason I probably survived his death.”

Human interest reporter Lupe Zapata and Debbie Messer smile for a picture in Bastrop, Texas, while remembering Messer’s brother Randy Foster Moore who died of AIDS in 1987. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)

All these years later, Messer says she finally considers herself a part of the queer community as a proud ally. Messer hopes every Pride Month those who lost their lives during the AIDS epidemic are remembered.

“They fought in the '70s and the '80s for what everyone has today and they need to know that,” said Messer. “My brother and his friends… they paid the ultimate price for everybody to have things like this Pride celebration today.”

If you have an interesting story or an issue you’d like to see covered, let us know about it.  

Share your ideas with DFW human interest reporter Lupe Zapata by emailing him at Lupe.Zapata@Charter.com

Bastrop resident Debbie Messer smiles with a picture of her late brother Randy Foster Moore who died of AIDS in 1987. (Spectrum News 1/Lupe Zapata)