Jessica Machado’s memoir “Local” is a coming-of-age story about growing up in Makakilo on Oahu in the 80s and 90s, not knowing if she belonged in the islands or about the history of Hawaii.
As an “indoor kid,” Machado felt like she didn’t fit into Hawaii’s “beachy vibes.” She lacked an appreciation for the island’s beauty, while being a “90s alt kid” who listened to Hole and was “buried under the American rituals of homework, fast food and prime-time television lineups.” Instead of finding a connection with Hawaii or her identity, she fought feelings of loneliness with alcohol and by attaching herself to the wrong people.
For anyone who lived in Hawaii during this era and frequented strip malls or enjoyed the island’s nightlife, familiar local references abound: Liberty House, Zippy’s 2 a.m. eggs and rice, pancakes at Liliha Bakery, Indigo in Chinatown and the Wave Waikiki.
After her parent’s divorce, attending Mid Pacific Institute and the University of Hawaii at Manoa, she moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as a journalist. While on the mainland, her mom was diagnosed with cancer, and she had to reckon with everything she had left behind.
Throughout the story, Machado weaves in the history of Hawaii and Hawaiian stories (moʻolelo), incorporating what she has learned as an adult into her understanding of the islands and herself. She describes how she has changed and how Hawaii has changed in her own lifetime as well as over hundreds of years from traditional Hawaiian life to a colonized American archipelago, contrasting hula with MTV music videos and Pele with a Norman Rockwell painting.
Before heading to her book launch in Brooklyn last Thursday, Machado spoke with Spectrum News Hawaii about writing her memoir.
She said she has been writing about loneliness since attending graduate school at Portland State University, where she earned a Master of Fine Arts in creative nonfiction, shortly after her mother’s death. However, it took her many years to realize she wanted to center her story on her identity and Hawaii.
“As I started to peel those layers back and as I sat with it over the years … it became more clear how I wanted to explore issues of my identity. And also, the history of the place where I grew up and where my ancestors are,” Machado said. “That history is hard to find in mass marketed books, and especially by people who are from Hawaii, or are Native Hawaiian.”
Over time, she started to appreciate her birthplace and connect more with Hawaii. She also learned to appreciate her mixed heritage, identifying herself in the book as Hawaiian, Portuguese and white.
“It's part of my ancestry and the culture in Hawaii to connect to the land and to connect to the sea and just the banyan tree you see at the park … You can sit in the grass, and be still and feel the very warm air that feels like a hug in Hawaii. And that's one way to feel connected to things, but I just was so living inside my head growing up, trying not to feel lonely, that I didn't even know how to connect,” said Machado.
She said her career helped her write about nuanced racial issues in Hawaii.
“I've spent much of my career covering identities. I now work on a Diversity, Equity and Inclusion team at NBC. For years, I was the Identities Editor at Vox and the Daily Dot,” said Machado. “I've covered and studied race, and gender and socio-economics and sexuality in America for much of my career.”
Machado said her book is for anyone navigating loneliness, “especially if you grew up in a place where you didn’t totally feel like you fit in,” for people curious about Hawaii beyond it being a vacation destination, and for everyone in Hawaii, describing it as “a love letter to Hawaii.”
“Ultimately, I hope it is a love letter to Hawaii and as much as I pushed away from it and didn't always feel like I fit in, I love Hawaii. And I love my friends and family, and I love going home — there's no place like it,” said Machado.
Machado, who now lives in New York, is coming to Oahu on Jan. 21 from 4 to 6 p.m. to speak at Native Books at Arts & Letters in Nuuanu.
Michelle Broder Van Dyke covers the Hawaiian Islands for Spectrum News Hawaii. Email her at michelle.brodervandyke@charter.com.