FORT WORTH, Texas — An impassioned look came across 37-year-old Matthew Kistler’s face when asked what Pride means to him.
“It’s a rebellion, that’s what it was, that’s what it is,” said Kistler. “It’s us speaking out saying, ‘No. We’re here, we’re queer. Get used to it.’ We are not going anywhere, and we will continue to not go anywhere.”
Kistler, who lives in Fort Worth, was one of thousands who showed up to celebrate at Dallas Pride.
The two-day event held the first weekend in June took place at Fair Park, where the State Fair of Texas takes place. While at the event, Kistler and his boyfriend, Daniel Cates, came across a small, floral-printed couch surrounded by lights, cameras and signs inviting people to “Sit down and share.”
Since June is Pride Monthm Spectrum News 1 is celebrating by sharing stories from Texans proud to be a part of the queer community.
Every week in June, myself and fellow reporter Ashley Claster will introduce people sharing what Pride means to them. We invited people at random to sit down on the “conversation couch” and tell a story, whatever they’d like to share.
Once the couch was set up, we had a line of people eager to sit down and share.
Kistler was one of many who took the opportunity to tell his story.
Growing up in the small town of Vandalia, Illinois, Kistler could have never imagined coming out as gay. When he graduated high school in 2005, the city’s population was around 8,000 and his graduating class was less than 100.
“I didn’t want to come out in high school because I saw how people were ostracized for being different,” said Kistler. “There were no openly gay people in my graduating class.”
While in high school, he tried really hard to “blend in, and not stand out.” He shared his coming out story was a rough journey.
“During my teenage years I was too afraid to come out so like a lot of people in my situation I did end up in a sham marriage with a woman,” said Kistler. “I lived a very unhappy life for a while, but I eventually got the courage and just felt tired of being depressed.”
After ending his marriage in his early 20s, he came out to friends and family as gay.
Kistler said after a lot of hard times, one of the best things that’s ever happened to him is the gift he’s found in his boyfriend. They’ve been together for two years and both agree this is the best relationship either of them has ever had.
“I feel like this is what love should be like,” said Kistler with a smile. “Daniel is understanding of who I am. He’s very patient, he’s very loving, he’s just, he’s the best.”
The couple invited me to lunch with one of their roommates at the home they share in Fort Worth. After we ate, Cates shared how Kistler has changed him for the better.
“He’s taught me that I’m worth more than what I’ve allowed myself to be in previous relationships,” said Cates. “I don’t think I’ve been happier at any point in my life to be perfectly honest. Matty makes me smile continuously.”
Kistler shared as a teenager he could have never imagined being this happy.
“I love him. I couldn’t imagine my world without him at this point already,” said Kistler about his relationship with Cates. “He’s my little perfect angel.”
As Kistler flipped through one of his high school yearbooks, he said even though he’s in a much better place, it’s still hard for him to look at old pictures of himself. He’s reminded of how scared he was being closeted in a small town.
“I don’t want to go back to that ever,” shared Kistler through tears. “I don’t want to be that angry kid ever again.”
If he could go back in time, Kistler would give a younger version of himself this advice: “It gets better. I’d tell him that it’s OK to be gay, because I hated myself for it for a long time.”
When asked what Pride means to him, Cates’ response was similar to his boyfriend’s.
“It is an act of revolution to walk down the middle of a public street and refuse to be ashamed and refuse to hide,” shared an impassioned Cates. “I think it’s vital we keep doing that. It’s vital that we keep sending the message that we’re not going to disappear.”
As we wrapped up our time together, the couple shared how they wished support, such as the It Gets Better Project, existed when they were younger.
The project started in 2010 was a wildly successful social media campaign, where people from all backgrounds, across the world shared three words — it gets better.
Following an uptick at the time of queer youth committing suicide because of bullying, everyone from President Barack Obama to “Jersey Shore’s” Vinny Guadagnino was sharing messages of support and uploading them to YouTube.
More than 70,000 celebrities and average people, including myself, have shared personal stories inspired by the It Gets Better Project with the goal of providing hope and encouragement to young LGBTQ+ people.
Kistler shared he hopes his story gives a source of optimism to young queer people who are in a place where they don’t feel comfortable being who they are.
If you have an interesting story or an issue you’d like to see covered, let us know about it. Share your ideas with DFW human interest reporter Lupe Zapata by e-mailing him at Lupe.Zapata@Charter.com.