FORT WORTH, Texas — Former Fort Worth police officer Aaron Dean is scheduled to go on trial for the shooting and killing of Atatiana Jefferson.

Dean is accused of shooting Jefferson inside her home while she played video games with her nephew in October 2019. 

After many delays, a Tarrant County judge says May 9 will be the new date for the trial, but recently said he’d consider moving the trial date up. Until a final decision is made, one man says, he'll continue to struggle. 

James Smith was Jefferson’s neighbor and called a non-emergency number the night of the shooting. He saw the front door of her home open and lights on inside. All he wanted was someone to perform a welfare check to see if she was OK.

“They’re like my family,” Smith said. 

 Until now, he hasn’t shared how Jefferson’s death has destroyed his world. 

“I’ve had people tell me, ‘Mr. James, I hate to tell you this, but you’re damaged,’” Smith said. “To hear that, and know that, is a whole different beast.”

Smith says can’t keep his weight up. He can’t sleep at night, and he can’t hold back his tears. His frail state means he can’t work to pay his mortgage or other bills.

“I’m bankrupt mentally, financially, spiritually, emotionally,” Smith said. 

He’s trying to put it all behind him, but he says he can’t do that either. 

“Everyone has an opinion and there are those who feel like this is my fault,” 64-year-old Smith said about the people who blame him for Jefferson’s death. 

Jefferson’s old house sits right behind him during the interview. He has posters to honor the 28-year-old outside his home that are big enough to see from the street. Smith said he spends a lot of time in his backyard.

“This is an oasis, so to speak. I can’t see the house,” Smith said. 

The idea to start the garden comes from Patrice Jones. She is the founder of the Southside Community Garden Project. 

“The pain was caused by those who are paid to serve and protect us,” Jones said. 

Jones says she wishes she had the power to make the trial date closer, not just for Smith, but for the sake of the Jefferson family.

“Justice delayed is justice denied,” Jones said. 

What she can control is her relationship with Smith and her continued work to take his mind away from his dark thoughts. 

“There’s a handful of people, Patrice being one of them, that if I broke down and said, ‘Hey, I need help,' she would be the one to help,” Smith said.