FRISCO, Texas — Twenty-five-year-old Ophelia Carr is a happy crier. Recently she has a lot to be thankful for, and when she thinks about the good she has in her life now tears of joy flow.
“I never use to believe that I was worthy of love,” said Ophelia as tears streamed down her face and her partner Ryn North held her tight. “I waited 25 years for them, and it was worth every moment, all the times that I was just so lonely that I wanted to die. I love you so much, Ryn.”
The happy couple were just two of many to sit down and share for the series “Tell Me A Story, Texas” I have the honor of producing and hosting. This series focuses on my belief that everyone has a story, and if you give people the opportunity to share, under the right circumstances, they will.
I’m bringing a small, very comfortable, floral-printed couch to events in cities across Texas and asking random people to sit down and tell me a story; whatever it is they’d like to share.
This Pride Month, Spectrum News 1 is sharing real stories from proud queer Texans.
For this project, I set up my “conversation couch” and cameras at Dallas Pride held in Fair Park the first weekend in June. Thousands showed up to celebrate during the two-day event at the same location where the Texas State Fair takes place.
Ophelia and Ryn waited patiently since I had a line of people eager to share. When it was finally their turn to take a seat, it was very clear to me they were in the puppy-love stage of their relationship. The two were very affectionate as I set up the cameras. They exchanged kisses and at one point both started laughing hysterically after Ryn playfully poked Ophelia’s side to tickle her.
They were also very vulnerable. Ophelia shared how she struggled for many years not loving herself, and Ryn shared how they hadn’t always proud to be queer.
When Ophelia shared how much Ryn’s love and support has meant to her, she started crying, which made me cry. I’m a sucker for a good love story.
In the following weeks I reached out to both Ophelia and Ryn inviting them to share their relationship story for the series. Both were very excited, but Ryn was visiting family in Utah had to decline. At first Ophelia wasn't too comfortable filming without Ryn, but after we shared a long phone conversation she changed her mind and welcomed me into her Frisco home to shoot an interview.
“When you do something to take care of yourself, you’re reminding yourself that you are worthy, worthy of love and care,” said Ophelia as she applied a gold shade of eyeshadow to her eyelid. “That’s a big thing for me, because it’s taken me awhile to understand that I am worthy of love and care. Whenever I can I do my best to remind myself of that.”
It took a long time for Ophelia to believe she’s beautiful. Growing up, while at home family members told her she wasn’t going to find love because of her weight.
“She told me no one is ever going to love you unless you lose that, and she pointed at my tummy,” said Ophelia as she recalled the painful memory. “It was really hurtful that my own mother would say that.”
While at school she suffered intense bullying from her classmates.
“Kids were very mean,” said Ophelia. “They made fun of me a lot. I was weird, brown, and fat. That was not a great combination for bullying in the early 2000s. There was one boy who would make ape and chimp noises behind me in the hallway. There was another who would sing the ‘Oompa Loompa' song behind me in the hallway.”
Over the last couple of years, Ophelia said she’s focused on healing, and worked hard to be kind to herself. When she looks in the mirror now, she feels confident.
“I’ve done things to invest in my own worth,” she explained. “I’ve brought clothes that are pretty without telling myself, ‘I should wait to buy this until I’m much smaller.' I’ve done a lot in general to take care of myself, as I am. I’ve had to remind myself that my worth is not contingent on the appearance of my meat suit.”
Ophelia’s proud of the progress she’s made by putting the pain in the past. Her advice to those who find it hard to practice self-love is to be patient with themselves.
“It is a journey,” said Ophelia. “It can start by focusing on something as little as one thing you like about yourself, maybe the color of your eyes; start there. You have to be kind to yourself. Find the love in your life, find the happiness, and do everything you can to focus on the kindness in your life. The kind people, the kind words, the things that bring you joy, because those are going to be the things that keep you afloat ”
Ophelia believes once you do that, you’ll have an open heart ready to receive love from others. She said finding Ryn has opened her heart in ways she never knew possible.
“This is what I always imagined love would feel like,” said Ophelia referencing her relationship with Ryn. “People get sick of us, because we're just like two halves of a whole idiot.”
If you have an interesting story, or an issue you’d like to see covered, let us know about it.
Share your ideas with DFW Human-Interest Reporter Lupe Zapata by e-mailing him at Lupe.Zapata@Charter.com