WATERLOO, N.Y. — His wife Joanne's favorite orchid is what Robert Reed tends to each day in the front window of an apartment he now rents in Romulus.

It used to sit in their "forever home" in Waterloo before last summer. The orchid survived Reed's month-long stay at University of Rochester Medical Center.

"It's a strong flower. You can see her in it," Reed smiled.

Robert, a 66-year-old retired marketing executive, and Joanne, a retired Waterloo English teacher, came down with the coronavirus in mid-August. Two days after his wife was hospitalized, Robert followed her to URMC. Doctors put him on a ventilator for more than three weeks. She didn't want that. Joanne was put on a respirator.

"I remember falling asleep and waking up and wondering where I was," said Reed. "And I wondered where Joanne was."

Reed had lost 44 pounds. Hospital staff told him he needed to regain his strength before he could visit his wife. Reed was allowed to see her before he went home. Joanne's condition: touch and go.

"They took me down to Joanne and to say goodbye. It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life," Reed said.

Reed sobbed in his friend's truck on the ride home to Seneca County.

"I was so weak. I sat in the recliner for four to six hours. I wanted to take my life because I couldn't see myself living," Reed said. 

"It traumatized me. But I told myself, 'who's going to take care of my wife when she comes home? It's gotta be me.' So, I got off my pity pot and basically said 'this is what's gotta be done,' " Reed said.

As Robert recouped, he realized the hard time he had breathing remained. And his mental sharpness was as dull as a rusty butter knife. Robert was so weak, he couldn't get into the basement of his home to save one of his dogs as it had a seizure. He had to find a new home for his three other dogs.

49417039_R COVID LONG HAULER PT 2-CG from Daniel Schenek on Vimeo.

Two weeks after he returned home, the call came from the hospital. Robert spoke to Joanne over FaceTime for what would be their last conversation.

"Last time I ever saw my wife alive," he said.

"There's nothing they could do. Two options. I can leave her on life support. Have her suffer through all that. Or take her off life support and let her go peacefully," Reed said. "I couldn't even be there when my wife died, because I was quarantined. Ain't that a horrible, horrible, horrible thing."

As he grieves, Robert continues to struggle with COVID-19 after-effects, chronic conditions that earn him status as a "long hauler."

Climbing stairs takes everything he's got. It never used to. It's one of the lasting effects of a bout with COVID-19 at the end of the summer.

"I still have troubles with my breathing. My mental capacity is really, really bad," said Reed.

Bad, as in having to write down everything he needs to do each day, several times. Sometimes it still doesn't help.

"I'll end up, sometimes, all the way to Canandaigua. I'll go right by Wegmans, not knowing 'hey, I'm supposed to turn here,' " Reed said.

What science has learned from COVID-19 long haulers is that the virus loves our small blood vessels. 

"Some of those blood vessels have been attacked and enflamed and have become leaky, or clogged," said Dr. Anthony Peitropaoli, Vice Chief of the University of Rochester Medical Center's Division of Pulmonary & Critical Care Medicine. "And that can affect brain function or lung function and function of other organs."

Reed says his symptoms run the gamut.

"My taste buds are damaged. My lungs are damaged. My mental capacity's damaged. My all-around health is damaged," he said. "It's like I say, it's a tragedy."

Reed's taking part in physical therapy and counseling, both set by his primary care physician. Health leaders suggest long haulers follow that path. 

Front-line health leaders like Dr. Pietropauli are compiling data from survivors like Reed to help formulate an understanding of what can help long haulers. Programs to treat will have to wait until at least the current COVID-19 surge subsides. 

"As we emerge and unbury ourselves from this strain, I think we're going to have a little more breathing room to develop programs that are necessary to deal with the long-term effects," Pietropauli said. 

Losing his wife and dealing with long-term COVID-19 after-effects are not the only tragedies Reed's experienced this pandemic. Reed also lost two younger brothers to COVID-19. They were twin brothers who passed the virus to each other on a fishing trip last year.

"I'm full of sadness and sorrow, as you can tell," said Reed.

He gets upset at anyone when they don't wear a mask and socially distance in public. Robert says he and his wife contracted COVID-19 from friends they'd had over to their pool last summer -- friends who didn't mask up, or tell them they were sick.

"They're the ones who killed my wife. They are being stupid, ignorant, and selfish. Because they don't realize, they don't know," said Reed. They think it's 'oh, hey, no big deal.' It is a big deal. People are dying."