Given recent tragic crimes statewide, advocates of victims are reminding people that domestic violence can happen to anyone.

What You Need To Know

  • Given recent tragic crimes statewide, advocates of victims are reminding people that domestic violence can happen to anyone

  • Experts said there are stages of abuse, starting with a “honeymoon”-type phase, then an "explosive"phase, and these phases tend to cycle

  • The YWCA Mohawk Valley urges people in these situations try to figure out what the triggers are and avoid them

  • There are several resources available to help people out of these situations

  • More funding is needed to continue to help victims and prevent violence

“One in four women and one in seven men have been victims of domestic violence in their lifetime ... in the United States," explained Dianne Stancato, the YWCA Mohawk Valley CEO.

The YWCA helps victims of domestic violence, and work to prevent it altogether.

According to the Department of Justice, domestic violence is in part, “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.”

“It's really difficult, very difficult to leave an abusive partner. Often I hear people say, ‘I would just walk out, I'd just be done,' and you know what? I hope you do. I hope you walk out, call our hotline, come here for help. But I know that it isn't easy. And what we see is that even though we help try to help someone, they may go back seven to nine times," Stancato said.

Stancato said there are stages of abuse, starting with a “honeymoon”-type phase where everyone is happy and in love. 

Then, there’s the “explosive” phase.

“There could be anything that happens. Someone loses a job, there's a new baby crying all night. Whatever it could be, there's a trigger. And then you have this other behavior. And then we go back to the honeymoon phase of this. ‘Let me fix this. I love you. I'm never going to hurt you again. Don't leave me. I'll be better. I'll do better.’ And so that cycle actually repeats itself over and over again.”

She suggests those in these situations try to figure out what the triggers are and avoid them.

Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate, she said; it can take place in any relationship, to anyone.

“This can happen in high school, dating a high school boyfriend, and it could also happen in a 40-year marriage. It's really insidious," Stancato said.

Stancato said more funding is desperately needed to continue to help victims and prevent violence.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233.