Trigger Warning: This story does mention suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800-273-8255. 

Randomly throughout the day, Sarah Klaiber will check her phone and see a red heart emoji from her husband.

“I know what that heart emoji means,” Klaiber said. “Whether it’s a good day or a bad day, it makes me smile.”

For Klaiber, who struggles with depression and suicidal ideation, that small act helps her know she’s loved. 

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  

Canalside saw the return of the annual American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness here in Buffalo on Sept. 19 after last year’s was canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

This year, the event took precautions to ensure health safety like having staggered arrival times for the team, said Missy Stolfi, Western and Central NY director for AFSP and organizer of the walk.

In addition to the walk, there were several other activities including resources and raffles to raise awareness about different opportunities in the community for survivors, those who have lost loved ones and those struggling. 

Of the handful of tents that decorated the waterfront sat Klaiber and her daughter, with a stack of books in front of them. 

To help explain Klaiber’s struggle with depression to her children, she wrote two children’s books “Treasures” and “Beautiful You.” 

“For a few years depression got in the way of me being what I felt was the best I could be, as far as being a wife and a mom,” Klaiber said. “When I crawled away from [the] rock bottom moment with a clear mind, I wrote ‘Treasures’ to tell my children I was sorry, let them know mama’s back and to appreciate the small things around them.”

Sarah wrote those books so that her children and other children would treasure the beauty around and in them during times of darkness. 

She heard about this walk from a coworker who had the same tattoo as her, a semi-colon, that many who have struggled with suicidal ideation get as a reminder that their story is not over. 

While September is National Suicide Prevention month, Stolfi wants people to know those who struggle need help throughout the year.

“We all have a role we can play to check in on each other [and] to take care of ourselves as well,” she said. “Our goal is to make sure everyone feels empowered to have those important conversations.”

For Klaiber, in those dark moments, the thing that helped her was having someone to talk to. 

“Somebody that is having a suicidal thought, that thought eventually will pass and you don’t have to have a rule book and the exact dialogue,” she said. “Sometimes you just have to stand there and look with eyes of love, and let someone know that they are not alone and they are worth being here.”

Stolfi said that it’s important for the public to learn about the risk factors, warning signs and how to talk about suicide ideation.

As of Sept. 19, the event raised over $191,000 toward the organization's goal of $200,000, which is used for local community programs like grief support and prevention training. People can continue to donate until the end of the year. 

Western New Yorkers can visit the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention Western New York chapter website to sign up as a volunteer, learn more about bringing training to their workplace or school and how to have a conversation about suicidal ideation.  

They can also call the organization at 800-273-8255.