ST. LOUIS – Bettye Vint, Diane Dykes, Lynda Klarner and Ann Kozminske became friends by dinking around together for years.
Between August 2021 and February 2022, each of them tragically buried their husbands. “My husband was the first one to pass, then Dianne, then Linda, then Ann,” said Vint. “When my husband passed… they were at my house the day that my husband passed, because I don’t have any family here, so therefore, it meant a lot to me to have that support.”
Diane suffered her loss shortly thereafter, “it was a hard time, but it was good to have friends and neighbors I could count on.”
Afterwards, the four women found a new peace together.
“So we’re all widows, and that's how we started traveling together, kind of like the widows' pickleball group,” said Vint. She was excited about the opportunity to travel. “It was fantastic because I decided that I needed to live even though my husband had passed and I never had done any traveling.”
The four went together to Africa and Colorado, and some of them have traveled to Peru, Jamaica, and Hawaii together. Next year Vint plans to travel with some of the group to Australia and New Zealand.
They rafted down 225 miles on the Colorado River with stops to camp at night and hike on trails at major landmarks like the Grand Canyon.
“It was like being in boot camp. Going up and down hills, climbing mountains, trying to walk in the sand,” said Vint. “Of course every day we had to load and unload our gear, our backpacks, our beds – we’re at the stage that a little adventure, just adds, adds to your life.”
“It’s totally different, there are things that we are doing now like our trip down to Colorado my husband would not have done that,” said Klarner. “That’s what kind of got me started, I was doing things that weren’t related to him. He would never have done them and that kind of frees you up to feel independent and I think that’s what I’m most proud of. All four of us have developed independence and confidence of being alone. It’s ok to be without a guy.”
On their African safari, their sense of adventure took them to new heights.
“Why not jump off a bridge? Victoria Bridge, how often are you there? The falls are gorgeous,” said Klarner, who pushes the group to try some more daring entertainment. Vint was apprehensive about the jump before a boost from her friends.
“Am I going to do this? Can I do this? And they’re saying, yes you can! Yes you can! But then once you jump…it’s ok, it’s fine, a thumbs up, YES,” recalled Vint.
Dykes was the last to go, “When you walk up to the edge of the bridge, there’s two guys beside you and they put their feet behind you so you can’t back up to get out of this, you’re stuck you’ve got to jump. The first step is the worst, but after that it’s wonderful. I mean, it was great. I’d do it again.”
“The best part is all four of us did it which surprised me,” said Klarner. “I was surprised she (Diane) actually did it and I was proud of her. I really think it was a good thing for her to do because her grandkids were impressed. There’s more to her than just grandma, she’s an adventurous person. I was proud of her.”
Klarner admitted the Africa safari did leave them on edge at times. "There have been moments of fear. Just driving on the safari just getting to the first camp. In the evening it was dusk and elephants were crossing the road with their babies and the sound that they make because they want to scare you away, it was a little harrowing. There have been some ladies who were killed on these tours.”
They were appreciative of their knowledgeable safari guides who kept them safe.
“We were as close to you and I to lions, we were in our safari truck and the lion would walk right by us and the guide would say don’t talk and don’t stand up,” said Dykes. “We said ‘why cant we talk or stand up?’ He says, ‘if you stand up the lion notices there’s something in there that is possibly good to eat. If we sit quietly, we’re part of the safari truck, you’re not something that’s edible.”
These potential perils continued at all parts of day and night.
“We could not walk at night by ourselves. We had to have someone walk us to our cabins because of animals, they were up close and personal all the time.”
The danger, was worth it for them, as they enjoyed sights they’d never dreamed of experiencing.
“I saw animals that I didn’t even know existed, it’s like did God create these animals? Why didn’t I know about these animals?” said Vint.
“We saw every animal imaginable, every bird imaginable, that wasn’t the surprise,” said Kozminske. She found extra meaning to her travel when meeting the African natives.
“It was the integrating – we visited a village, and went to a school, and actually now I’ve donated money for four, and I know who the kids are… four different kids to go to school.”
As it is with many relationships, Vint says their bond strengthens with each experience shared: whether it’s jumping off a bridge, rafting hundreds of miles, dinking their way to a bragging rights victory, or the tragic losses they burden together.
“He was just the love of my heart, my soul, he was my soulmate and I depended upon him a lot and now I have a group of friends to depend upon. They can’t replace him but they’re there for me.”