"Our son passed away, he was born with some medical things and he had 15 surgeries. He through a blood clot during surgery..and he died of a massive cerebral hemorrage"

Kathleen Spencer found out about a group she never wanted to belong to, when she lost her son.

"I came here because someone suggested it at about 3 months in. And I will tell you I cried through the whole meeting", says Spencer. 

The organization Hope for Bereaved, counsels parents that have lost kids in Central New York, holding support groups once a month. Over time it brought Kathleen a level of comfort and validation, that she wasn't alone. The month of October does the same for 1 in 4 women.

"That's really high. But I don't think anyone realizes how high it is."

25% of women have had a miscarriage, stillbirth or experienced the death of an infant or toddler. Although the number is high, its a topic often not spoken about, which is why Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is so important. 

"You can be angry, you can be envious of other intact family or your friends. Your baby died, they're baby lived. And then you see their baby get bigger and older and cute and fun and you're missing all that. It is painful, really raw physical pain", says Hope For Bereaved founder Therese Schoeneck. 

It's also a time to help raise awareness that many suffer in silence.

And a chance to start that conversation, maybe you didn't know how too.

"People are too immobilized", says Schoeneck. "They don't know what they want. It's better to say I'm going to the store can I pick up some milk or bread? Or bring some flowers over, a plate of cookies, a card. Just staying thoughtful in their life, not overpowering, not just ignoring them like nothing happened"

"I personally think that a lot of people don't know what to do or what to say", says Spencer. "And by not knowing what to say to the person that had the loss, having an awareness month saying hey this is there month, doesn't mean they aren't going to grieve for the rest of the year, but it's a special month for them saying hey bring it out in the open."